How to Be Someone Else Read online

  She spun on her heels to face me, her mouth curling up in a smile as she lunged at me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I dropped my hands to her hips, giving them a squeeze.

  “What are you doing here?” Her words came out in a slur. She pinched her bottom lip between her teeth, watching me with rapt curiosity. When I didn’t answer after a few beats, she lifted her eyebrows and looked at Ash from the corner of her eyes.

  I stopped her before she could start in on Ash. “Don’t be mad at her. She’s just worried that you’ve had a little too much to drink. And I think she’s right.”

  Penny glared at Ash. “You’re kidding right?” She blew a piece of hair out of her face. “You guys are ridiculous. First, I’m too boring for ya’ll and you complain that I never go out with you. Now that I am, now that I want to, I’m not allowed to have fun?”

  I leaned forward and dropped my voice. “It used to be that your idea of fun didn’t need to involve alcohol.”

  Her laughter surprised me almost as much as the maniacal look in her eyes. “I can’t win with you, Alex!”

  I sighed. “This isn’t about winning or losing. This is about you dealing with the shit going on in your life in all the wrong ways. It’s about —”

  “Who are you to tell me that I’m doing it wrong? Maybe this is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. Your word is not the be all and end all here.”

  “Come on,” I said, ignoring her. “It’s time to go home.”

  I reached out for her but she stepped away from me. “That’s a good idea. Go home, Alex.”

  I glanced at Ash for help, but the girl seemed more than happy to continue sipping her drink, staying out of it. Never mind she was the one who pulled me into this mess in the first place. I narrowed my eyes at her, willing to step in, but she simply stared back at me with vacant eyes.

  I turned back to Penny, shaking my head as she slammed back the remainder of her drink.

  “Seriously, go.”

  I looked out across the bar and back at her. “Is that what you really want right now?”

  “Yes,” she said, drawing out the ‘s’ for what seemed like minutes.

  I stepped closer to Ash, bending down until my lips came close to her ear. “Watch her. Do not let her drink anything else. And for the love of God, make sure she gets home safely… and alone.”

  Chapter 21

  Penny

  My eyes stayed glued to Alex’s back until I couldn’t see him anymore and then turned back to the table in search of my drink. Empty. I turned to Ash. “You ready for another round?”

  Her head tilted sideways. “Come on, Penny, don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

  I frowned. “Not you, too. You guys are such downers.” I looked over her shoulder towards the bar. “I’ll just go get one for myself then.”

  I didn’t make it to the bar.

  You wouldn’t either if you’d seen what I had.

  He was so gorgeous, with that head of dirty blond curls and bright blue eyes rimmed with long, dark lashes. I knew he played guitar and smoked Marlboro lights, and was incredibly effective at pretending that he didn’t know the effect he had on women. That they didn’t ache for his attention. That they didn’t stare at his thin lips longingly, wondering what they would feel like on their bodies.

  The way he looked at me now was the same way he looked at me when we first met two years earlier. It was the same way he looked at every woman. Like I was special. Like I was the only woman in the world. I felt his eyes burning into me, knowing that I didn’t have the restraint I’d had two years ago. I knew that if he walked over to me, if he kept looking at me like that, I’d be his.

  He approached me in what felt like slow motion, pushing his way through the crowd, his eyes locked on mine, an intensely disarming smile spreading across his beautiful face. As soon as he was close enough he slid his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him. I snapped into place, my shoulder tucking itself into his underarm.

  “Penny,” he crooned. “Shit, it’s been a long time.”

  Two years.

  “Yeah, it has.” I stared at my feet.

  He asked about my life and I returned the favor. I hated small talk, but it wasn’t like that with Ryan. Everything with him was more like foreplay.

  The man was walking sex.

  As he talked, I stole quick glances at his body, committing it to memory. The stubble across his square jaw. The thickness of his upper arms. The slew of tattoos running up from his wrists and disappearing under his rolled up sleeves.

  I wet my lips, reluctantly dragging my gaze back up to meet his.

  He smiled, the left side of his mouth turning up further than the right. It was the sexiest crooked smile I’d ever seen.

  Good God, what I wouldn’t do to him.

  I squeezed my thighs together at the thought.

  Ask me. Ask me to come home with you.

  I watched his bottom lip slip between his teeth and I sucked in quick breath, waiting.

  “Are you and Matt still together?”

  It wasn’t the least sexy thing he could have said.

  I shook my head perhaps a little too hard, the booze and proximity to him proving to be a lethal mixture.

  “He’s a good guy and all, but about as exciting as a hat.”

  I didn’t bother to hide my laughter. Truer words had never before been spoken.

  I didn’t ask him if he was seeing anyone, I knew the answer. He wasn’t the commitment type; I’d always known that about him.

  Which was about the time the wheels started turning in my head.

  Ryan stepped to the side, letting a drunken group of girls pass us by. He made no attempt at hiding the way he looked me over, his eyes grazing lazily over my body. “You look good.”

  I felt the tip of my ears catch fire. “Thanks.”

  He took a long swig of the beer in his hand and shot me another smile. “No offense, but I never really imagined seeing you at a place like this. It doesn’t really seem your speed.”

  “Oh, it’s not. But I guess that was the whole point in my friends bringing me here.”

  He looked over my shoulder. “Who’re you here with? Anyone I’d know?”

  “Doubtful,” I said. I didn’t want to share him with anyone. I wanted him all to myself. Preferably in my bed without clothes..

  I allowed my eyes to travel the length of his body, thinking of all the dirty things I’d do to him if given the chance.

  He drained his drink. “Listen, Penny. My friends are outside waiting for me, so I’ve got to run, but we should hang out sometime. Do I have your number? Or wait, you have mine; I think?”

  “I do.”

  He graced me with another killer smile. “Alright, cool. You’ll text me then?”

  I nodded and then watched him walk away, my head full of dirty thoughts. Ash appeared at my side within seconds.

  “Good God, who was that and why did you let him leave?”

  I stared at a spot on the wall across the room. “That … was Ryan. My wet dream.”

  “Care if I share?”

  I shook my head, still dazed and more drunk that I realized. “Not at all, friend. Sharing is caring.”

  The second I opened my eyes the next morning it felt as though a jackhammer was chipping away at my head. I reached for my phone out of habit, cursing at even the small amount of light coming from the screen. Four unread texts awaited me. The first was from my mother, reminding me of my appointment with Dr. Scott on Monday morning, moved from my usual Thursday spot. The second was from Ash, telling me to make sure to take some Advil before trying to get out of the house this morning. The third text made me pause, my thumb hovering over his name.

  Alex: When you’re feeling up to it, give me a call. We should talk.

  I expelled a deep breath and moved on to the final message that had come through just before 2am.

  Ryan: I’m laying here in bed, completely awake and unable to sleep. All I can think a
bout is why I didn’t make you come home with me. I can’t help it, seeing you again put all these ideas into my head.

  I smiled to myself, looked briefly at the clock — 10:03 — and then turned back to my phone to rattle off a text to Ash.

  Me: Me and Ryan. Bad idea or best idea ever?

  She responded almost immediately.

  Ash: Go for it. After Matt, you deserve a real man. Get that penis of his in your lady hole as soon as possible.

  My laughter shot a jolt of pain searing through my head. It was definitely time to cut down on the drinking.

  Me: Alex is going to hate this. He can’t stand Ryan.

  Ash: Who the hell cares? I mean, if you guys are just friends like you keep telling us all, what does it matter?

  I knew she was right, but I couldn’t swallow down the feeling of guilt that settled in my throat.

  Chapter 22

  Alex

  I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should have stayed. I should have stayed and made sure that Penny got home safely. Instead, I’d let that drunken version of her boss me around and shame me into leaving her alone. The last thing she needed was for me to stop caring. Who else was going to watch after her? Ash made it obvious that she couldn’t be trusted to. If I wasn’t around, if Penny kept on pushing me away the way she was, she was going to be left with no one.

  I carried that thought with me throughout the weekend, and by Monday morning, when I still hadn’t heard from Penny, I knew that the axis of our friendship had just shifted beneath us.

  And we were powerless to stop it.

  My phone rang the second I sat down in my car. “I’m ten minutes out,” I said.

  Talon had saved us a four seater, and had his legs stretched out across the chair beside him. I ordered a black coffee from the barista and sat down across from him.

  “So, what’s going on, you’re never late.”

  I did my best to describe the events of Friday night, leaving nothing out; including my concern that Penny and I’s friendship had shifted.

  “You gotta let it go, man. I don’t know why, but you’ve always had this need to protect her.”

  “Because she’s my best friend.”

  He smiled like he expected me to say just that. “I’m a friend, and you don’t find the need to baby me like you do her. She’s a big girl, Alex. Just let it go.”

  As much as I hated it, he did have a point. “Well, she doesn’t seem to be taking my calls or responding to my texts, so I guess I don’t really have much of a choice.”

  Talon took a sip of coffee. “Wait, where did you say they went out?”

  “Dino’s, of all the places.”

  “Shit, so it was her.”

  I perked up in a way that had nothing to do with the caffeine hitting my bloodstream. “What do you mean?”

  “I was actually there that night, briefly, and I saw someone who looked an awful lot like her talking to Ryan West. Do you remember that guy? I only caught a quick glance, but I guess it was her after all.”

  Anything Talon may or may not have said after that hit deaf ears. Ryan West? What the hell was she doing with that douchebag? A hundred more questions forced their way into my mind. I tried to push them aside. “What could she possibly want with him? The guy is a total asshole.”

  Talon shrugged. “I can’t argue with you there, but if I remember correctly, he’s pretty smooth with the ladies. He and Penny looked pretty cozy.”

  “Jesus! She was wasted! That guy knew exactly what he was doing.”

  I wrapped both hands around my cup of coffee, busying my hands so that I wouldn’t reach for my phone to try and call her again. She’d made it crystal clear that she wanted space.

  Space that I now had to worry Ryan West would fill.

  Penny

  I withheld from reaching out to him for two whole days. By then I had fantasized so much about how it would feel to run my hand through his curls — and down the rest of his slim, but muscular body — that I could barely type out the text to him. I only hoped he hadn’t forgotten about me. I had a feeling that he had the ability to move on pretty quickly.

  Me: My plans fell through for the afternoon, so I thought I’d see if you were up to anything.

  After only a few minutes, Ryan’s response came through.

  Ryan: You should come over. The pool is really warm today.

  Me: Cool, I’ll see you in about an hour.

  I made sure to be late so that I didn’t appear too eager. I’d needed the time to shave my legs and pick out the perfect outfit, anyway. When I strolled through the side gate and into the backyard as he had said to do, I was convinced that I was as close to perfect as I was going to get. I had chosen my favorite bikini; the black and white one that showed off just enough of all my favorite places, and my hair looked effortlessly piled on top of my head, though in actuality it had taken me quite some time to do. I hoped, perhaps a little too late, that Ryan wasn’t the kind of guy who threw girls into the pool.

  “Hey, Williams,” he said as he caught sight of me.

  His use of my last name screamed I just want to be friends, but the way his gaze passed over my body portrayed the exact opposite. I couldn’t help but smile. I dropped my bag onto a patio chair and moved towards the pool where I sat down and slipped my feet into the water. It seemed impossible that it could be so warm. Then again, the summer heat had begun to ramp up.

  Ryan was already in the water. I hesitated at the edge for a moment, feeling suddenly unsure of myself.

  He made me nervous.

  “You waiting for a hand-written invitation, Penny? Or are you coming in?”

  I let my body drop into the water. It was warmer than I had imagined. Or maybe it was the simple proximity to something — err, someone — so damn smoldering. I was surprised the water around him didn’t evaporate.

  I locked my eyes with his as I swam slowly towards him, realizing that I had absolutely no idea what to say.

  I knew what I was getting into being here. I knew what it meant.

  After four years of vanilla sex with Matt — and one, perhaps inappropriate one-night stand — I was, how do you say, anxious, to experience something real.

  I just didn’t know if I was ready.

  We spent so much time in the pool that our fingers and toes had long turned into shriveled prunes and my hair that I had so painstakingly styled now laid in wet clumps against my shoulders and back. With Ryan’s curls wet and flattened to his head, his blue eyes stood out even more against his tanned skin. The tiny tuffs of hair on his chest looked so appealing that I wanted so much to reach out and run my fingers through them.

  Ryan swam up to me, his blue eyes locked on mine, and slipped his hands onto the pool ledge on either side of me, pinning me between him.

  “Penny,” he whispered. The deep rasp of his voice would have made my knees give out if we’d been on solid ground.

  I wet my lips. “Mmm hmm?”

  “I have to admit something to you.”

  My gaze flicked down to his lips before locking on his eyes once again. “What’s that?”

  He moved closer, his mouth mere inches away from mine. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to kiss you.”

  No. Fucking. Way.

  Was this a dream? Because I’m pretty sure that I’d had a small crush on him from the moment we were introduced two years ago. I hadn’t thought much of it then, or of what it meant that I was crushing on someone other than my boyfriend.

  Probably that I was with the wrong person.

  I shook the thought from my head, bringing myself back into the present. I was in the pool with Ryan West.

  Holy shit.

  “Is that so?” I said, trying to play coy.

  “Mmm hmm,” he said, repeating my words.

  He slid himself closer until I felt the firmness of his chest pressed against me. He balanced himself with his left arm, bringing his right hand out of the water and running his fingers slowly along my nec
k towards my jaw. His thumb grazed my bottom lip, running the width of it. I had only enough time to pull in the tiniest of breaths before his mouth was on mine.

  The kiss was piping hot; there was no other way to put it. Matt had never kissed me like that. I was fairly certain that he wasn’t capable of that kind of passion. But Ryan … he had more passion in one kiss than I’d ever experienced before. When our lips parted, I found myself dizzy and out of breath.

  With my eyes closed, I pressed my forehead against his. “Worth the wait?”

  I could feel Ryan smile. “Definitely.”

  I wanted to kiss him again, but before I could make a move, he had pushed off the wall, floating away from me.

  “So, I’ve heard quite a bit about you in the past few days.”

  I had moved to swim towards him, but paused. Ryan apparently found this funny as he chuckled before continuing. “Nothing bad, really. Actually … I’m pretty impressed. I always got the feeling that you were a bit of a good girl.”

  I pursed my lips. “I was.”

  One corner of his mouth curled up “That’s not the case anymore?”

  There was a certain tone to his voice that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

  “I guess I’m a little tired of being that girl. It’s boring.”

  “I would hardly describe you as boring.”

  He was closer now, looking at me again. Like that. He licked his lips and when I looked up into his eyes, they were locked on mine. Gulp.

  He moved closer to me. “Listen, Penny. You have to know I’ve always thought you were gorgeous, but you were always Matt’s girl, and—”

  “Mmm hmmm…” I was looking at his lips, wanting them on mine again. He swam closer still.

  “I think you should ki—”

  Honk!

  We both froze. And there it was again.

  Honk!

  Ryan sighed heavily and dropped his chin against his chest. “My folks are home from the cottage. They must want me to help them unpack the car.”

  I watched as he swam to the edge, expertly lifting himself from the water in one smooth movement. I followed suit, trying to hide my disappointment. I gathered my things and followed him back through the side gate. He made no move to introduce me to his family. Instead, he took hold of my forearm and ushered me over to my car.